Ode to the Modern Conservative

With apologies to my conservative friends, most of whom to which this doesn't apply; this brief work is to address the inconsistencies of a vocal few who seem to have entirely too much pulpit and power right now. If you don't know what I'm talking about, this is probably for you….

You may think the last shoe's dropped
That they've placed their final bet
But let me tell you sonny,
You ain't seen nothing yet.

There is no fatal tumor,
There's not one deadly disease
That can ever hold a candle to
The unmitigated gall you see.

They're the ones who "Jesus loves" 

They put the stickers on their cars 

And no trespass signs on their front doors
And caution tape around their flaws.

They know you're wrong, it's in their book,
The one that says to love thy neighbor
They'll yell it from the rooftops
Whilst they wipe blood from their saber.

They bought up all the firearms
They think you want some too
What they don't know is their paranoia
Didn't rub off on you.

They think the stars and stripes are theirs
But they don't know what freedom is really
With their crosses and bibles and churches and all
They don't know that they really look silly

Not because they worship a pauper who preached
That eternity is for all peeps
But because they believe that it's somehow closed off
To all except for those creeps.